How to End Stay-At-Home Mom Envy

Why do we always want what other’s have? The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

I was born with crazy curly hair, but after straightening it to death, I now have flat wavy hair. Now I want my curls back!!

I mentioned in an earlier post about my struggle with envy.
I was (and kind of still am) jealous of my husband’s job.

He can enjoy coffee on his way to work in peace while it’s still warm!

He also has adult conversations and a specific purpose at work.

Did I mention that his office pretty much looks like a carnival with ball pits, sand bag tosses, and more??

I am embarrassed to say that I allowed myself to throw a pity party. I let myself think that I had it harder than him.

After all, he does have multiple breaks throughout the day, a one hour lunch break, a peaceful two hour drive (there and back) to chill and listen to the radio, and he goes to the bathroom in peace! I started to compare our days, and in my head, my day seemed harder.

Thankfully, without realizing it, my best friend showed me the struggles working wives and moms experience. I realized it isn’t as easy as I allowed myself to believe.

There is a lot of stress, pressure, and regular annoyances that comes with working that I don’t have to deal with at home.

I envied my husbands job but..

the truth is his responsibilities aren’t necessarily easier than mine, they are just different.

On the same day that I threw my pity party thinking no one had it harder than I did, or that no one was more tired than I was, I took my son to a children’s museum and got to see his joy as he played.

Then we had lunch together at Chick-fil-A, a dance party in the living room, and lots of laughter and cuddles before his nap.

Even though I had mom/wife duties to attend to, I got to watch two episodes of Friends in the middle of the day while I worked on school and folded laundry.

I am not trying to discredit stay-at-home moms because raising a child or children is by far the hardest work there is…I just want everyone to stop comparing their life to someone else’s, and start appreciating what they have and the season they are in.

My son will eventually grow up and my job as a SAHM will come to an end. But right now, this is my sleep-deprived season. I will get sleep one day 😉





  1. Janaisy Lorenzo | 7th Aug 17

    I enjoyed reading about this topic. As a teacher, I get to experience both worlds…a full-time working mom and a stay-at-home mom during summer. Both jobs are HARD!! But, I am always reminded, God never gives us more than we can handle 🙂 Thanks for the post!

    • simplymybellavida | 23rd Aug 17

      Both jobs are hard! And you are so right about God never giving us more than we can handle. That is a great reminder for when things get hard. Thank you!

  2. Amanda | 8th Aug 17

    Comparison is the thief of joy! It’s hard not to resent a partner or friends who seem to have it easier, but SEEM is the important word. Everyone has struggles we don’t see!

    • simplymybellavida | 23rd Aug 17

      Great words sweet friend!

  3. Angela | 10th Aug 17

    Great article! I just became a SAHM after 10 years of working outside the home. The struggle is very real on both ends up the spectrum. Amanda’s comment is so true, comparison IS the thief of joy! Thank you for sharing your heart with us today ❤

    • simplymybellavida | 23rd Aug 17

      I agree! Being a SAHM is a full-time job that sometimes goes unrecognized, but the result is totally worth it!

  4. Hannah | 28th Aug 17

    Both jobs are exhausting and have their emotional tolls, but I find being a SAHM has more isolation and goes unrecognized for the work we do at home.

  5. Pamela | 28th Aug 17

    As a mom who just quit her job & is in the first few moms of being a WAHM, I sometimes envy my husband getting to be alone but I chose to be at home so I have made peace with it. Because well, one day my kids won’t be here to stick their hands under the bathroom door while I’m trying to use the restroom 😉

  6. Angie | 28th Aug 17

    Great post! I think all stay at home moms struggle with this “envy”, just like moms who work outside the house. I’ve been on both sides of the fence and I can say that each has its perks. While there are some days I miss the vacation of going off to work, I would miss the extra time I have with my kids so much. Great perspective. 🙂

  7. Jenny @ Paint & Pillows | 28th Aug 17

    It’s a struggle to not compare ourselves to others. You envied your husband’s job, but me? I envy you that you get to stay home. It’s something I struggle with every day. But what’s that saying? “Comparison is the thief of joy” I try to remind myself of that often.

  8. Rachel | 29th Aug 17

    THANK YOU for sharing your views on this. Sometimes I feel so alone in feeling this way, but I’ve luckily been on both ends of it.

  9. Steph | 29th Aug 17

    I am a working mom and you are right….You always want what you don’t have. I wish I could be at home with my babies, but I can’t so we make the best of it. I work shorter days so I can be home with my kiddos longer and have Friday’s off so it’s a balance I appreciate! Nice post!

  10. Jamie L. | 29th Aug 17

    I often feel the exact same way. I relate to you!

  11. val | 29th Aug 17

    I have the same struggle with my husband but at the end of the day, I really am the lucky one <3

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